Hey dere you funky kats. It's me, MC Hammer - back from me 'ols..

You've got no idea of da sort of ting me saw when me was in da ghettos wid me 'omies. One day, Biggup Baz's boom box got nicked and 'e t'ought dat it was Grex dat 'ad 'alh-inched it. So 'e and 'is posse went daan to Grex's 'ideout and started beatin' da doors in!

Well, Grex want best pleased as you'd imagine. He called on 'is mates and dere was one masseeve fight. Some geezers got killed and some 'ad bones broken. Baz's gang got most whooped and 'e swore revenge.

So one day, Grex's brudder (real brudder, not a mate) was walkin' daan the street on 'is way to da shops. Baz drove past in 'is car - a nice motor - and shot 'im. Den he stopped and nicked all 'is money! Hahahaha! But 'e only had a few quarters on 'im cos 'e was goin to buy some bubble gum. 'E was only 6.

So Grex went mental and bought a tank. He shot up Baz's mum's 'ouse big time. Baz want best pleased so he bought a plane - one a dem new fangled Eurofighters and did one biggup explosion on Grex's dad's car wid some missiles.

In da end, it turned aaht dat Baz's mum 'ad borrowed 'is stereo so she 'ad sometin to listen to when she was cleanin. Grex and Baz be biggup chums now.