Fortunately, my zombie antidote worked. It took a little perfecting, hence MC's two-week absence. But he's back, fighting fit and kicking bottom. And ready to "rock da 'aas"

Yo yo yo, get daan me niggas. It might seem like a dumb ting to yous, but me's confused abaat me's name. MC Hammer, innit? But what does da 'MC' bit stand for? Me 'as asked me 'omies but dems is all tick.

Baz weren't no 'elp, he made jokes like 'matsabating cunt', 'malignant cunt', 'mad cunt' and militaristic cunt'. In fact, all of Baz's suggestions was somfin-cunt. Me 'it 'im 'ard.

You remember Grex, well 'im was not much more usefull. 'Manky cheese', 'moose cum', 'mouse cock' and 'my car' was 'is bestest suggestions. Me slapped 'im a bit.

It weren't until me asked me mate Colin for 'is dicshunry. Me looked up MC init and it said 'member of congress'. Now, I could be wrong, but me don't ever remember joining congress. Dat place is full of twats like Al Whore and dey should have peached Bill Shantytown. Me might've joined in a drunken stupor but me aint been to none of da classes so dey might be sending a letter 'ome to me mom. Also, MC aint got an O init.

And finally me asked me mate Roger for 'is dicshunry. Dat was when me found da answer - me is Master of Ceremonies Hammer. Me just 'opes 'e aint got no nails!